Last week, for the 1st time EVER, I filled out medical paperwork and got to list a birth as vaginal. I had no idea it would mean so much to me. But a week later, that moment still brings me to tears. So thankful to finally have a vaginal birth... it took 3 tries but I did it. Just had no idea filling out a paper would mean so much to me.
My little Starla has turned four months. Time flies with babies. She has been a sweet joy. I am still on cloud nine with the natural birth and like telling others about it. People ask questions and often ask if I mind talking about it. Nothing to hide here! I love having a daughter and love that I have broke the c/s cycle and given her a chance to have a mom with such a story. I pray she never has to have a c/s... or should I say never has a c/s but if she does, she knows she has other options and a mom who understands.
I have been told by a couple therapists that I have a strong mothering instinct. I think they are right. I just want to do whatever I can to support my babies... especially when they are so young and little. I have gotten flack from some on my choices. But I have no regrets. I only get one chance to be their mom at this young age. My kids deserve to be priority #1 in my life the first few months. Anyone who disagrees with that... well... can raise their kids their way. This is how I love mine.
One more side note. Little Starla is 12 lbs, 4 oz. and 26 inches long at 4 months. It was her 1st check up that the doctors were not concerned at all about her weight or health. I did not follow many of their requests besides medical tests. But I did not supplement with formula or feed her cereal at 3 months. My instincts said she was fine and I was right. Trust in God and His lead and the rest will fall into place.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Still processing
If you couldn't tell by now, I haven't been doing my job. But I am a Christian and my faith is continuing to grow. I am a work in progress.
It was really hard for me to process my second birth, 1st attempt at a vbac... which became a c/s forced by the OB. I knew God was in charge and didn't understand why He let this happen. I knew he could control who was scheduled that day and for that matter, when I went into labor. Why did He allow the worst ob to be over my delivery? I won't lie... I had times of being mad at God for this. I still don't completely understand it but have had times of possibly getting a glimpse of what He may be doing with all this.
When preparing for this last birth, I felt strongly that God wanted it to be a home birth. I know we would not have had a home birth this time if my hospital vbac had gone well. So, I began wondering if God allowed the second experience to happen so that this third birth would be at home. That is where I have left things up until now. It may sound crazy to non believers. But to believers, I hope my thought process makes some sense.
I go to Bible Study Fellowship (a international bible study organization). Yesterday, the lecturer was talking about how we are to be the Light. We are like clay pots. No light will pass unless there are cracks in the pot. If I am a clay pot, I certainly have some cracks. The challenge is, will I allow His light, His glory shine through those cracks as a testimony to His power, grace, and healing. During the lecture, I jotted down these statements: God allows us to be in situations that let us be a witness to God's comfort and power. There is purpose in our suffering.
Why did God allow this to happen to me? Could it be for the greater good? If I am going to suffer, I would prefer it to have a purpose... His purpose. What can I do with my suffering? I hope I have already begun with this blog. I pray that my experiences and support can help those God wants me to help. My prayer needs to be that God leads me to the people who need to be touched by Him in a special way. I pray that I keep my focus on Him and allow Him direct me. I pray that I take my personal suffering in stride keeping my focus on the purpose... His purpose.
It was really hard for me to process my second birth, 1st attempt at a vbac... which became a c/s forced by the OB. I knew God was in charge and didn't understand why He let this happen. I knew he could control who was scheduled that day and for that matter, when I went into labor. Why did He allow the worst ob to be over my delivery? I won't lie... I had times of being mad at God for this. I still don't completely understand it but have had times of possibly getting a glimpse of what He may be doing with all this.
When preparing for this last birth, I felt strongly that God wanted it to be a home birth. I know we would not have had a home birth this time if my hospital vbac had gone well. So, I began wondering if God allowed the second experience to happen so that this third birth would be at home. That is where I have left things up until now. It may sound crazy to non believers. But to believers, I hope my thought process makes some sense.
I go to Bible Study Fellowship (a international bible study organization). Yesterday, the lecturer was talking about how we are to be the Light. We are like clay pots. No light will pass unless there are cracks in the pot. If I am a clay pot, I certainly have some cracks. The challenge is, will I allow His light, His glory shine through those cracks as a testimony to His power, grace, and healing. During the lecture, I jotted down these statements: God allows us to be in situations that let us be a witness to God's comfort and power. There is purpose in our suffering.
Why did God allow this to happen to me? Could it be for the greater good? If I am going to suffer, I would prefer it to have a purpose... His purpose. What can I do with my suffering? I hope I have already begun with this blog. I pray that my experiences and support can help those God wants me to help. My prayer needs to be that God leads me to the people who need to be touched by Him in a special way. I pray that I keep my focus on Him and allow Him direct me. I pray that I take my personal suffering in stride keeping my focus on the purpose... His purpose.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
2 weeks post birth
I just can't believe how much better I feel. I feel normal. The birthing pains have been long gone. I still deal with hemroids- not that I want to admit it but lets be honest here. My bleeding stopped for a full 12 hours recently but then returned some... but has not been bad at all. I wonder if it is so good because of the Arnica I took the early days. I don't know... but is a thought. I have noticed that one half of my belly is more stretched than the other- left side- I assume due to that is where she camped out the last trimester- on my left side. It really has nothing to do with birth but is something I find very interesting.
I had a great follow up appointment with my midwife and doula, separately. It was great to discuss and process the birth with my doula. She focuses more on the emotional side of things than my midwife does and I appreciate that. She could share with me some personal experiences she had with an intense birth and how she processed it. I felt a lot better about the birth after she left and had more pride in what I had done- pushed this baby out safely when so many had no faith that I could. I think it will be a while for me to process things fully.
I am enjoying my little girl- the little girl I always dreamed of having. My family is beautiful and I am so blessed. I have to keep reminding myself that it is through God that all this came to be. I could not have done this without Him and he stood tall to support me. I can't loose sight of that but need to give Him all the credit.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Comparing vba2c vs c-section recovories
ok. I'm going to try to keep this short but some have asked my experience comparing the two different birth recoveries. Here are some thoughts just less than 2 days out of delivery...
1. Can laugh, cough, sneeze without tummy pain. (However cough causes butt/ crotch pain due to tears... however not as severe)
2. Can get out of bed without assistance.
3. Can be more independent and enjoy my family more
4. Can hold my 2 year old without fear of pain or injury
5. Nursing is so much better and milk seems to be coming in faster than ever experienced before.
6. Can drive without restrictions
7. Can shower and soak in bath and am encouraged to
8. More bleeding the 1st 24 hours
9. Upper back and arms sore from intense labor (more sore than lower back which is surprising to me)
10. Can and always have been able to stand straight up right
I am expecting to be feeling better tomorrow- 3 days out. I forget how tiring it is to have a baby and deal with lack of sleep... plus juggle two other children. That is true with any birth. It has to be so much easier than having my tummy cut open and be healing from that. Yes I am sore from natural labor. It was a task to birth her. But the pains are natural ones and will heal faster than unnatural ones.
1. Can laugh, cough, sneeze without tummy pain. (However cough causes butt/ crotch pain due to tears... however not as severe)
2. Can get out of bed without assistance.
3. Can be more independent and enjoy my family more
4. Can hold my 2 year old without fear of pain or injury
5. Nursing is so much better and milk seems to be coming in faster than ever experienced before.
6. Can drive without restrictions
7. Can shower and soak in bath and am encouraged to
8. More bleeding the 1st 24 hours
9. Upper back and arms sore from intense labor (more sore than lower back which is surprising to me)
10. Can and always have been able to stand straight up right
I am expecting to be feeling better tomorrow- 3 days out. I forget how tiring it is to have a baby and deal with lack of sleep... plus juggle two other children. That is true with any birth. It has to be so much easier than having my tummy cut open and be healing from that. Yes I am sore from natural labor. It was a task to birth her. But the pains are natural ones and will heal faster than unnatural ones.
4 days of recovery
Hi!
I wanted to update my recovery here a little. Yesterday marked the 4th day after birth. I was told by my doula and midwife that I would be feeling a lot better after day 3. They were right. Besides being tired from the lack of sleep and healing down south, I feel pretty good. My muscle aches and pains have subsided and my energy level in increasing. I got a massage yesterday which was nice for this well worked body. During that time, I had time to actually reflect on my experience.
I have been having trouble processing the birth. I know I haven't filled you in on any details here, besides that it wasn't picture perfect. But the main issue is the part I was looking forward did not go down as I had always dreamed. Actually, it was more like a nightmare. So, I am having trouble grasping onto the parts I want to treasure. The parts that went well were the painful laboring parts. And who wants to hold onto that as the best memory of the birth? I will see my doula next week for a follow up and will discuss this with her. Maybe she can help me heal some and process things in a more positive light. I'm not saying it was bad or I have any regrets. It just wasn't as I thought it would be for the last 6 years of planning. You will understand when I post my story...
I do have ONE regret I wanted to share. I had refused (with no fuss from midwife) the Strep B test. I was comfortable with that decision and has not been an issue health wise. But when the pediatrician found out I refused it, we ended up being sent to the hospital for a series of tests on Starla to clear her. They also threatened to admit her for "observation" to make sure she is ok. We didn't do a home birth just to turn around a sit in the hospital while they watch a healthy baby. I think if I had done the test, I could have avoided an unplanned trip to the hospital and the stress of whether they would want to admit her. They finally decided she was healthy enough for be watched by her parents. lol. But only if I agreed to return with her the following day and then a weight check 2 days later- today. She has come no where close to loosing the average 10% birth weight. He diagnosed her as jaundice but then didn't bother testing her for it when he had all those tests done. Clearly she is fine if he didn't even order the test he diagnosed her to be. It was just a label to justify more tests.
So, that is about it for now. Getting little sleep and running around to please the medical world on this "home birth baby." Plan to post my story as soon as I think I have the time to type it out.
I wanted to update my recovery here a little. Yesterday marked the 4th day after birth. I was told by my doula and midwife that I would be feeling a lot better after day 3. They were right. Besides being tired from the lack of sleep and healing down south, I feel pretty good. My muscle aches and pains have subsided and my energy level in increasing. I got a massage yesterday which was nice for this well worked body. During that time, I had time to actually reflect on my experience.
I have been having trouble processing the birth. I know I haven't filled you in on any details here, besides that it wasn't picture perfect. But the main issue is the part I was looking forward did not go down as I had always dreamed. Actually, it was more like a nightmare. So, I am having trouble grasping onto the parts I want to treasure. The parts that went well were the painful laboring parts. And who wants to hold onto that as the best memory of the birth? I will see my doula next week for a follow up and will discuss this with her. Maybe she can help me heal some and process things in a more positive light. I'm not saying it was bad or I have any regrets. It just wasn't as I thought it would be for the last 6 years of planning. You will understand when I post my story...
I do have ONE regret I wanted to share. I had refused (with no fuss from midwife) the Strep B test. I was comfortable with that decision and has not been an issue health wise. But when the pediatrician found out I refused it, we ended up being sent to the hospital for a series of tests on Starla to clear her. They also threatened to admit her for "observation" to make sure she is ok. We didn't do a home birth just to turn around a sit in the hospital while they watch a healthy baby. I think if I had done the test, I could have avoided an unplanned trip to the hospital and the stress of whether they would want to admit her. They finally decided she was healthy enough for be watched by her parents. lol. But only if I agreed to return with her the following day and then a weight check 2 days later- today. She has come no where close to loosing the average 10% birth weight. He diagnosed her as jaundice but then didn't bother testing her for it when he had all those tests done. Clearly she is fine if he didn't even order the test he diagnosed her to be. It was just a label to justify more tests.
So, that is about it for now. Getting little sleep and running around to please the medical world on this "home birth baby." Plan to post my story as soon as I think I have the time to type it out.
birth story
December 23, 2011 Friday
We took the boys to a near by city for some family fun. I figured it was our last chance as a family of four before this baby was born. I felt good most the day but was peeing ALL the time. There was so much low pressure but it wasn't bothersome. That night, I started to have regular contractions that my husband even noticed. We started timing them but they were not really strong. I began texting my doula and she suggested I take a bath and go to be early. She was hoping this was the beginning of things but it would be great if we could hold it off long enough to get some rest through the night. I followed orders and was able to fall asleep.
Dec 24, 2001 Saturday (Christmas eve)
I woke at 2:30 am with fairly strong contractions. I decided to stay in bed to get more rest and just see what happens. At 3:30 my husband woke to my noises and timed a couple of them. They were 4-6 minutes apart. At that time, I decided I couldn't stay in bed any longer and was ready to call my doula. We gave her a call and she decided to come with her daughters (who were to watch my boys). We began busying ourselves with preparing the bed for birth, picking up final items, pulling out plenty of towels and wash clothes, making soup in the crock, etc. That kept us busy for about an hour before our doula arrived. i continually had to stop with each contraction but was free to move around between them. I believe was also called my midwife to let her know that it appears labor has started. She said to keep her posted.
Once our doula arrived, I found myself in an odd state. I had nothing left to do but labor. She had me sit on for floor and lean against a chair for a few contractions. Then we moved to a kitchen chair, sitting backwards on it and resting my head on the back of it. After maybe an hour, she suggested we both go to bed and get some rest since I had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep before it all kicked in. I stayed in bed to about 9:00, I believe. The contractions were strong while in bed but supposedly I slept between them. I'm not sure I would agree to that but it could be true. I remember feeling like I have the flu- in that you know you are going to get sick and just wonder when the next one will be. Except that it was contractions vs. puking. It was an uneasy feeling.
I got up and had some eggs and juice. The contractions were further apart than at 2 in the morning. My doula thought taking a walk would help get things moving again. We happen to live in a neighborhood that is just one big circle. I didn't want to be on display and clearly in labor for the neighbors BUT I also wanted access to a bathroom as it felt like I had to pee all the time. So, we tried walking around the neighborhood... no one seemed to notice. We took 4 laps that lasted over 20 minutes. I was able to walk thru the contractions for all of them but two. We also called my chiropractor at this time. She had agreed to come do an adjustment during my labor as long as she was available. Unfortunately, she was flying out to Florida that day. She agreed to stop by just a couple hours before leaving for the airport.
After my walk ended, I spent some time in the kitchen being social. I sat on the birthing ball and did some rocks. My 2 year old wanted to play with the ball, so I let him sit on my leg and get a ride as I rocked. The contractions had let up and were not nearly as strong or frequent. My doula thought things were puttering off and thought it would be best if she and her girls left for a while. That way we could be a normal family and try to have a normal day without the stress or expectation that a baby is suppose to come now. I wasn't completely convinced but trusted her and knew she was just a few minutes away and return with a simple phone call. So, she and the girls left. I ate a little lunch and soon after, my chiropractor arrived.
My chiropractor is a wonderful woman and so friendly. She did some adjustments on me in bed and chatted away. At some point, I couldn't answer her as I was contracting again. She adjusted my neck and went on her way. While she was here, my midwife called and said she was coming to just evaluate the situation. I stayed in bed between each of them coming and going and had some strong contractions. My midwife arrived and just timed things for a while. Then she offered to check me. She doesn't check much and often never does for some births. But I was curious enough to have her check. I was hoping she would say I was at 7 cm. That would make me very happy. She said I had a bulging sack... very bulging. Finally she said I was at 6 cm! I'll take it! That was encouraging. 6-7 cm was all I supposedly got in my last birth/labor. My contractions were still not consistently 2-3 minutes apart but were intense when they were here. Again, my midwife felt it was best for her to leave and let me labor in peace. Once again, I wasn't too convinced of this but trusted her and knew she would return with a phone call. She was at the door with her coat on when another strong contraction happened. Goosh! I said to my husband, "My water broke. Go get her." She kind of knew already and knew that had been a pushing contractions. I had about 3 of them and knew I was laying in a ton of water. It was amazing how much water there was. With my last birth, the big break happened on the toilet so I had no concept of how much there was.
My midwife said she wasn't going anywhere, looked at my fluid and said it was clear. No meconium. What a relief. I believe my husband called my doula and let her know the water had broken and the midwife has here to stay.
After my doula arrived, we decided it was time to "relax' in the tub. I had been looking forward to this moment... 1- because it was suppose to make things less intense, and 2- because it meant I was close to having this baby and being done with labor. Unfortunately, I didn't find the tub all that comforting. I tried laying on my side in the tub. It felt awkward and I kept slipping due to the slippery floor. My husband put on his swim trunks and joined me in the tub to help support me. After a while, I did hands and knees in the tub. That was ok, too. Just nothing felt good. I was also getting leg cramps while contracting in the tub. The last thing I wanted to deal with then was Charlie Horse cramps. Finally, they had me stand in the tub. There is a window sill just above the tub and was at the perfect height for me to cross my arms over and rest my head on. Sometime in the tub, I was coached into making lower sounds when contracting. It was nice to focus on something and I was encouraged that these sounds were to make the contractions more productive.
I also remember getting excited to be in the tub and asking for my son to come see. I didn't want him to miss it and I REALLY wanted it to be over very soon. They brought him in for a moment to see me between contractions and assured me that they would make sure he returned for the crowning. It was also in the tub that I started asking how much longer it would take. I knew no one could answer that question but I kept asking it anyway. I just wanted to know if it would be 2 hours, 4 hours, or just 30 minutes. I wanted to know how much longer I would have to endure this. I rarely got a response.
Eventually it was suggested that I have some contractions on the toilette. I wasn't fond of this idea, either. But honestly, I'm not sure I would have been fond of any idea besides the one that meant it was over. Still, I always told my husband that I do not want to give birth on the toilette. It just seemed too yucky for me and a little embarrassing for my child to say she was born on the toilette. Anyway, I still wasn't in the mood to fight it and trusted and was willing to do whatever it took to get this baby out. I didn't like sitting on the throne and eventually did a few standing over the toilette. After a while, it was suggested I go back to the tub or the bed. I really didn't like any idea but was stuck. Eventually it was decided to go back to the bed.
I tried laying on the bed and it just was not comfortable. After a couple contractions, we moved me to hands and knees. At this point, Starla's heart rate started dipping and not bouncing back. This told my midwife that the cord was wrapped and it was time to get the baby out. Now. My midwife is very laid back and relaxed. For her to say the baby needs to be born now, put a lot of fire under me. I knew I could not wimp out now but had to give my baby all my strength to get her out. I did my best... is all I can say. I could tell she was very close and they called my son back in. Soon they started seeing her head. Finally... some progress some one could SEE. My doula came and gave me a spoon full of honey for an instant sugar boost and I pushed away.
Starla was finally born at 6:46 pm Christmas Eve. I could tell there was concern over her. They laid me down and had me roll over with her on my chest. It took some time to get her the color they wanted and get her responding as she should. Her agar scores were 3, 7, and 10 and 1, 5, and 10 minutes after birth. I am so thankful that her cord had not been cut during birth as her respiratory was not responding as it needed immediately. If her cord had been cut, she would have been getting no oxygen. This would have certainly happened in a hospital setting.
While they were working on her and making sure she was fine, I could feel cramps and discomfort. It wasn't severe so I wasn't worried about it. Eventually I expelled the afterbirth. Once she was in the clear, focus was turned to me. It was explained that she came out with her had on her face and therefore she ripped me in three different areas- 2 degree tears. I am so thankful they were only 2 degree tears as a third degree tear would have resulted in transporting to the hospital for repairs. She stitched one of the three areas with four stitches and agreed to leave the other two for natural healing if I agreed to take it very easy for the next 48 hours. It was not what I wanted to hear BUT really had no motivation to have her continue stitching me up down there... so I agreed. Tomorrow was Christmas anyway... what would I be doing then but relaxing?
I also learned that her shoulder had been stuck during the birth. With a combination of cord wrapped, should stuck, etc, my husband quickly stepped aside for my midwife to deliver/ catch the baby. She did help pull the baby out as soon as there was more than just a head to grab onto. My oldest son witnessed the whole birth and the resulting stress of making sure she was ok. He did great and did not seem traumatized at all by the experience. It was a little stressful for the adults in the room. But nothing my midwife could not handle. She was prepared, experienced, and had more equipment available to her than she used.
It wasn't until around 11:00 pm that we could finally have time to call our parents. My parents were shocked as I did a great job of keeping them in the dark that labor had started. They were expecting that call- not "we had the baby" call. I think they were really relieved to know it was done and over and I was sounding good. My midwife did not leave until after midnight. She and my doula had cleaned up all the "mess," started a load of laundry, and packed up her supplies. She gave me orders to call her if anything occurred or if I had excessive bleeding. Sadly, I did end up calling her after my 1st time up from sleeping. She came right over at 4 am but determined that my concerns were in the normal range and nothing was needed medically. I was so thankful of that and thankful that she was so willing to run back after such a crazy day. She truly was taking good care of us, both.
Here is the Chronology of the labor/birth according to my birth records;
Onset latent labor- 2:30 am
Onset active labor- 12:30 pm
Arrival of midwife- 2:40 pm
Full dilation- 4:10 pm
Onset of pushing- 4:10 pm
Birth of baby- 6:46 pm
Delivery of placenta- 7:10 pm
Departure of Midwife- 12:23 am
Length of 1st stage (not including latent labor) 6 hours
Length of 2nd stage (pushing)- 2 hours 16 minutes
Length of 3rd stage (placenta)- 24 minutes
Duration of ROM- 3 hours 36 minutes
Age of baby at 1st feed- 1 hour 10 minutes
During labor, I ate breakfast and lunch. I drank as many fluids as my doula brought to me, including water, juice, and protein smoothie. I was given Arnica and Sheperd's Purse, 3 doses each. She was born roughly 5 hours before hitting 41 weeks.
My husband was fantastic through it all. He was attentive and strong. He handled our children being around and supporting me. He handled my being in pain well and being just a silent presence. My midwife and doula were fantastic supporting me and encouraging me that I was making progress even though they could not answer my 'when' question. They worked like a solid team once the baby came and did a great job working together while I was being repaired. I was amazed at how light hearted I was during the repair time. It wasn't pleasant and I really didn't like that it was needed. But I managed to stay cheerful and joke around some which I hope helped all. I so appreciated that they had been there and were doing something for me that is not fun for anyone- to watch and support a laboring woman and then to have to repair her so soon after birth. Not only all that, but that it was Christmas Eve as well. Each had family plans that were abandoned for me. I am so grateful for their dedication and support.
Soon after the birth and knowing all was ok, we brought in my youngest son, age 2 to peak at the baby. We sent my oldest out to bake a birthday cake for his sister while I was repaired. Soon after that, the sitters put the boys to bed. The next morning was Christmas morning! I was so happy that both the boys wanted to see their sister before anything else. It was a cool moment to see them come down the stairs excited to look at her and touch her. The excitement was something I will never forget. It was a Christmas morning that will never be topped. How perfect?
We took the boys to a near by city for some family fun. I figured it was our last chance as a family of four before this baby was born. I felt good most the day but was peeing ALL the time. There was so much low pressure but it wasn't bothersome. That night, I started to have regular contractions that my husband even noticed. We started timing them but they were not really strong. I began texting my doula and she suggested I take a bath and go to be early. She was hoping this was the beginning of things but it would be great if we could hold it off long enough to get some rest through the night. I followed orders and was able to fall asleep.
Dec 24, 2001 Saturday (Christmas eve)
I woke at 2:30 am with fairly strong contractions. I decided to stay in bed to get more rest and just see what happens. At 3:30 my husband woke to my noises and timed a couple of them. They were 4-6 minutes apart. At that time, I decided I couldn't stay in bed any longer and was ready to call my doula. We gave her a call and she decided to come with her daughters (who were to watch my boys). We began busying ourselves with preparing the bed for birth, picking up final items, pulling out plenty of towels and wash clothes, making soup in the crock, etc. That kept us busy for about an hour before our doula arrived. i continually had to stop with each contraction but was free to move around between them. I believe was also called my midwife to let her know that it appears labor has started. She said to keep her posted.
Once our doula arrived, I found myself in an odd state. I had nothing left to do but labor. She had me sit on for floor and lean against a chair for a few contractions. Then we moved to a kitchen chair, sitting backwards on it and resting my head on the back of it. After maybe an hour, she suggested we both go to bed and get some rest since I had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep before it all kicked in. I stayed in bed to about 9:00, I believe. The contractions were strong while in bed but supposedly I slept between them. I'm not sure I would agree to that but it could be true. I remember feeling like I have the flu- in that you know you are going to get sick and just wonder when the next one will be. Except that it was contractions vs. puking. It was an uneasy feeling.
I got up and had some eggs and juice. The contractions were further apart than at 2 in the morning. My doula thought taking a walk would help get things moving again. We happen to live in a neighborhood that is just one big circle. I didn't want to be on display and clearly in labor for the neighbors BUT I also wanted access to a bathroom as it felt like I had to pee all the time. So, we tried walking around the neighborhood... no one seemed to notice. We took 4 laps that lasted over 20 minutes. I was able to walk thru the contractions for all of them but two. We also called my chiropractor at this time. She had agreed to come do an adjustment during my labor as long as she was available. Unfortunately, she was flying out to Florida that day. She agreed to stop by just a couple hours before leaving for the airport.
After my walk ended, I spent some time in the kitchen being social. I sat on the birthing ball and did some rocks. My 2 year old wanted to play with the ball, so I let him sit on my leg and get a ride as I rocked. The contractions had let up and were not nearly as strong or frequent. My doula thought things were puttering off and thought it would be best if she and her girls left for a while. That way we could be a normal family and try to have a normal day without the stress or expectation that a baby is suppose to come now. I wasn't completely convinced but trusted her and knew she was just a few minutes away and return with a simple phone call. So, she and the girls left. I ate a little lunch and soon after, my chiropractor arrived.
My chiropractor is a wonderful woman and so friendly. She did some adjustments on me in bed and chatted away. At some point, I couldn't answer her as I was contracting again. She adjusted my neck and went on her way. While she was here, my midwife called and said she was coming to just evaluate the situation. I stayed in bed between each of them coming and going and had some strong contractions. My midwife arrived and just timed things for a while. Then she offered to check me. She doesn't check much and often never does for some births. But I was curious enough to have her check. I was hoping she would say I was at 7 cm. That would make me very happy. She said I had a bulging sack... very bulging. Finally she said I was at 6 cm! I'll take it! That was encouraging. 6-7 cm was all I supposedly got in my last birth/labor. My contractions were still not consistently 2-3 minutes apart but were intense when they were here. Again, my midwife felt it was best for her to leave and let me labor in peace. Once again, I wasn't too convinced of this but trusted her and knew she would return with a phone call. She was at the door with her coat on when another strong contraction happened. Goosh! I said to my husband, "My water broke. Go get her." She kind of knew already and knew that had been a pushing contractions. I had about 3 of them and knew I was laying in a ton of water. It was amazing how much water there was. With my last birth, the big break happened on the toilet so I had no concept of how much there was.
My midwife said she wasn't going anywhere, looked at my fluid and said it was clear. No meconium. What a relief. I believe my husband called my doula and let her know the water had broken and the midwife has here to stay.
After my doula arrived, we decided it was time to "relax' in the tub. I had been looking forward to this moment... 1- because it was suppose to make things less intense, and 2- because it meant I was close to having this baby and being done with labor. Unfortunately, I didn't find the tub all that comforting. I tried laying on my side in the tub. It felt awkward and I kept slipping due to the slippery floor. My husband put on his swim trunks and joined me in the tub to help support me. After a while, I did hands and knees in the tub. That was ok, too. Just nothing felt good. I was also getting leg cramps while contracting in the tub. The last thing I wanted to deal with then was Charlie Horse cramps. Finally, they had me stand in the tub. There is a window sill just above the tub and was at the perfect height for me to cross my arms over and rest my head on. Sometime in the tub, I was coached into making lower sounds when contracting. It was nice to focus on something and I was encouraged that these sounds were to make the contractions more productive.
I also remember getting excited to be in the tub and asking for my son to come see. I didn't want him to miss it and I REALLY wanted it to be over very soon. They brought him in for a moment to see me between contractions and assured me that they would make sure he returned for the crowning. It was also in the tub that I started asking how much longer it would take. I knew no one could answer that question but I kept asking it anyway. I just wanted to know if it would be 2 hours, 4 hours, or just 30 minutes. I wanted to know how much longer I would have to endure this. I rarely got a response.
Eventually it was suggested that I have some contractions on the toilette. I wasn't fond of this idea, either. But honestly, I'm not sure I would have been fond of any idea besides the one that meant it was over. Still, I always told my husband that I do not want to give birth on the toilette. It just seemed too yucky for me and a little embarrassing for my child to say she was born on the toilette. Anyway, I still wasn't in the mood to fight it and trusted and was willing to do whatever it took to get this baby out. I didn't like sitting on the throne and eventually did a few standing over the toilette. After a while, it was suggested I go back to the tub or the bed. I really didn't like any idea but was stuck. Eventually it was decided to go back to the bed.
I tried laying on the bed and it just was not comfortable. After a couple contractions, we moved me to hands and knees. At this point, Starla's heart rate started dipping and not bouncing back. This told my midwife that the cord was wrapped and it was time to get the baby out. Now. My midwife is very laid back and relaxed. For her to say the baby needs to be born now, put a lot of fire under me. I knew I could not wimp out now but had to give my baby all my strength to get her out. I did my best... is all I can say. I could tell she was very close and they called my son back in. Soon they started seeing her head. Finally... some progress some one could SEE. My doula came and gave me a spoon full of honey for an instant sugar boost and I pushed away.
Starla was finally born at 6:46 pm Christmas Eve. I could tell there was concern over her. They laid me down and had me roll over with her on my chest. It took some time to get her the color they wanted and get her responding as she should. Her agar scores were 3, 7, and 10 and 1, 5, and 10 minutes after birth. I am so thankful that her cord had not been cut during birth as her respiratory was not responding as it needed immediately. If her cord had been cut, she would have been getting no oxygen. This would have certainly happened in a hospital setting.
While they were working on her and making sure she was fine, I could feel cramps and discomfort. It wasn't severe so I wasn't worried about it. Eventually I expelled the afterbirth. Once she was in the clear, focus was turned to me. It was explained that she came out with her had on her face and therefore she ripped me in three different areas- 2 degree tears. I am so thankful they were only 2 degree tears as a third degree tear would have resulted in transporting to the hospital for repairs. She stitched one of the three areas with four stitches and agreed to leave the other two for natural healing if I agreed to take it very easy for the next 48 hours. It was not what I wanted to hear BUT really had no motivation to have her continue stitching me up down there... so I agreed. Tomorrow was Christmas anyway... what would I be doing then but relaxing?
I also learned that her shoulder had been stuck during the birth. With a combination of cord wrapped, should stuck, etc, my husband quickly stepped aside for my midwife to deliver/ catch the baby. She did help pull the baby out as soon as there was more than just a head to grab onto. My oldest son witnessed the whole birth and the resulting stress of making sure she was ok. He did great and did not seem traumatized at all by the experience. It was a little stressful for the adults in the room. But nothing my midwife could not handle. She was prepared, experienced, and had more equipment available to her than she used.
It wasn't until around 11:00 pm that we could finally have time to call our parents. My parents were shocked as I did a great job of keeping them in the dark that labor had started. They were expecting that call- not "we had the baby" call. I think they were really relieved to know it was done and over and I was sounding good. My midwife did not leave until after midnight. She and my doula had cleaned up all the "mess," started a load of laundry, and packed up her supplies. She gave me orders to call her if anything occurred or if I had excessive bleeding. Sadly, I did end up calling her after my 1st time up from sleeping. She came right over at 4 am but determined that my concerns were in the normal range and nothing was needed medically. I was so thankful of that and thankful that she was so willing to run back after such a crazy day. She truly was taking good care of us, both.
Here is the Chronology of the labor/birth according to my birth records;
Onset latent labor- 2:30 am
Onset active labor- 12:30 pm
Arrival of midwife- 2:40 pm
Full dilation- 4:10 pm
Onset of pushing- 4:10 pm
Birth of baby- 6:46 pm
Delivery of placenta- 7:10 pm
Departure of Midwife- 12:23 am
Length of 1st stage (not including latent labor) 6 hours
Length of 2nd stage (pushing)- 2 hours 16 minutes
Length of 3rd stage (placenta)- 24 minutes
Duration of ROM- 3 hours 36 minutes
Age of baby at 1st feed- 1 hour 10 minutes
During labor, I ate breakfast and lunch. I drank as many fluids as my doula brought to me, including water, juice, and protein smoothie. I was given Arnica and Sheperd's Purse, 3 doses each. She was born roughly 5 hours before hitting 41 weeks.
My husband was fantastic through it all. He was attentive and strong. He handled our children being around and supporting me. He handled my being in pain well and being just a silent presence. My midwife and doula were fantastic supporting me and encouraging me that I was making progress even though they could not answer my 'when' question. They worked like a solid team once the baby came and did a great job working together while I was being repaired. I was amazed at how light hearted I was during the repair time. It wasn't pleasant and I really didn't like that it was needed. But I managed to stay cheerful and joke around some which I hope helped all. I so appreciated that they had been there and were doing something for me that is not fun for anyone- to watch and support a laboring woman and then to have to repair her so soon after birth. Not only all that, but that it was Christmas Eve as well. Each had family plans that were abandoned for me. I am so grateful for their dedication and support.
Soon after the birth and knowing all was ok, we brought in my youngest son, age 2 to peak at the baby. We sent my oldest out to bake a birthday cake for his sister while I was repaired. Soon after that, the sitters put the boys to bed. The next morning was Christmas morning! I was so happy that both the boys wanted to see their sister before anything else. It was a cool moment to see them come down the stairs excited to look at her and touch her. The excitement was something I will never forget. It was a Christmas morning that will never be topped. How perfect?
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